1) I am not on it. 2) There are some really funny people who have written better blogs with mentions to both Kilts and Fetishes. 3) There's some really, really fucked up shit on the Internet (that last one was a gimme, but even so.) (On that note, if you ever google image search 'kilt' with safe search off, beware results page 5. ITS AS BIG AS HIS GODDAMN FOREARM)
I posit here and now that anything made out of latex is not a kilt. A man wearing a pleated, black latex garment is wearing a black latex skirt. A kilt is not a skirt (don't even start. A skirt is shorter, emphasizes the legs, and you wear something UNDER it.) and as such, these 6" black.... THINGS some sites are selling (and some bloggers are supporting, and, god forbid, wearing) are as much kilts as I'm Catherine the Great.
Kilts are long, pleated plaid garments invented first by the ancient Celts of northern Scotland who felt, rightly, that pants where un-manly. It became representative of Scotland dominantly in the 16th century, and continues to survive and thrive as a functional piece of clothing. The tartan of a kilt can denote clan, or, in some instances, military unit (see: The Black Watch). There are tartans for hunting, tartans for war, tartans for peace, tartans for individual families in the greater clan, hell, several cities and States have their own tartan. The kilt is an immense symbol of pride, masculinity and vigour (especially if worn properly), and is therefore damn sexy, and I'm not going to refute that in the slightest. Kilt Fetishes, as the title of the blog may indicate, are a-okay with me. AS LONG AS THEY ARE REAL KILTS. You see, I have issues with these things flying around the web masquerading as kilts. Therefore I consider it my civic duty to inform anyone who listens as the difference between kilt... and not kilt.
KILT
Here you have the traditional Highland Kilt. Practical, dignified, and, let's admit it, pretty damn manly. It has all the vital accoutrements (Sporran, Pin and Belt) and is pretty much your standard mental image of 'kilt'. Note how only the back is pleated, to allow the front tartan to go uninflicted by the inherent lines of pleats.
NOT A KILT
Look at this thing. Its ridiculous. Its like a plastic apron made of shame! Look at its ungainly wrinkles, its black vinyl coating! Nobody would wear this in any sort of social setting (and a kilt requires either sharp charisma or being in Scotland in the first place.) That slit looks precariously poised to show off some severely latex-chafed wedding tackle, too, and that's just defeating the purpose. Kilts aren't frames for your throbbing genitalia - and I'm making a deliberate effort to avoid the 'kilt pants' also offered from a number of sites, each with their own variations of strategically placed holes.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg - even a cursory search reveals miniature latex tutus being foisted off as 'mini kilts', or chain and spike studded leather abominations that look like what would happen if you ran a kilt through Monster Garage.
This will not stand. From this day forth I proclaim a kilted jihad against these false kilts, a one man crusade of tartan and fury. Who will stand with me in this - or will your grandchildren one day ask you where you where when they came for the Scots, leaving nothing by vinyl and unfortunate photos in their wake?
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